Sibling Rivalry

My kids getting along.

What family of more than one child has not dealt with sibling rivalry on some level? If you haven't, please email me and tell me how you've done it! :)

At the convention last Saturday, I noticed one of the workshops called "Is Your Homeschool C.H.A.O.S. (Contstantly Heckling Always Over Something)?" and thought, "Wow... this is one I really need to attend." I just knew that Susan Kemmerer was going to be like Special Agent Oso and give us three special steps to cut out the sibling rivalry in our homes.

Nope. Would you like to know what her very first answer was to sibling rivalry?

Look in the mirror.

Yep. It starts with you.  She even gave a great paraphrase of James 1:20.

"The anger of mom does not produce the righteousness of God."

Well now! How often have I gotten angry with my kids over their childish behavior and their lack of self-control? She wasn't saying that we shouldn't get angry with our kids. But she was saying that our anger doesn't produce righteousness in our kids. It doesn't bring about justification. Justification comes by grace alone!

Do I always show my kids grace? No. But the great part about this workshop was that it hit on so many things that the Lord has been teaching me about parenting my children over the last year or so, and what she said really reinforced so many things. I need to teach my kids to show grace toward each other by extending grace to them. I need to teach them to walk in kindness by putting on kindness and practicing kindness. The only way they will learn to be gentle with each other is if I am gentle with them.

She gave so many Scripture references, and I really need to take the time to look them all up and ask the Lord to help me to apply them to me first so that I can then teach the kids to apply them to their own lives. Susan Kemmerer was right; if you want to end sibling rivalry in your home, look in the mirror. It starts with you.