Ch...Ch...Ch...Changes!

It has been quite some time since I have published a post. I will be coming back to that soon. Please know that my blog will undergo some changes soon, but I believe that they will be good changes.

The content of the focus of my writing will not change. I will still write to single parent homeschoolers--and to those who love and support them. I will still have a ministry focus. My desire is to build up other single parents and to encourage others to do the same. I may broaden my reach just a bit. Rest assured, the changes will be good ones!

Martha, Martha, Martha!

I grew up watching reruns of "The Brady Bunch," and anytime I hear the name Marsha, I can hear the voice of Jan Brady whining in my head: "Marsha, Marsha, Marsha!"

"Marsha, Marsha, Marsha!"

While this makes me chuckle--and cringe a little at the whining--I think about the story of Mary and Martha in the Gospel of Luke. Jesus and His disciples were travelling from Jerusalem and they stopped at the home of Mary, Martha, and Lazarus. Martha set about to preparing a meal--and maybe even some last-minute cleaning--while Mary sat at Jesus' feet and listened to what He had to say. Here is how Luke gives his account of the events:

"As Jesus and the disciples continued on their way to Jerusalem, they came to a certain village where a woman named Martha welcomed them into her home. Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord's feet, listening to what He taught. But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said, 'Lord, doesn't it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.' "  (Luke 10:38-40 NLT, emphasis mine.)

Let's pause here for a minute.

What do we learn about Martha? The New Living Translation says that she was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. The New International Readers Version says, "But Martha was busy with all the things that had to be done." In the Amplified version, it says, "But Martha [overly occupied and too busy] was distracted with much serving..."

Well now! I'm not sure about you, but I certainly fall into the Martha category. I am too easily distracted by the things that need to be done: cleaning, laundry, preparing meals, taking kids here and there, providing for my family, homeschooling... this isn't an exhaustive list, but it certainly is exhausting! If you, like me, are also a single homeschooling parent, then it is easy to succumb to the trap of busyness. Whether you are in a good coparenting relationship with your children's other parent or not, the bulk of the everyday responsibilities surrounding your children's needs may fall on you. You may not have someone to help shuttle your kids places or to help fold laundry or wash dishes after a meal or to even give you an hour to go grab a cup of coffee and sit in silence. Your "to do" list may be miles long, and your calendar is full through the end of the year, and if one more kid wants to add one more activity...

But wait!

Pause.

Take a breath.

Now, let's look at Jesus' response to Martha's whining.

"But the Lord said to her, 'My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.' " (Luke 10:41-42 NLT, emphasis mine.)

Did you catch that? Can you hear the love and the gentleness with which our Lord spoke to Martha? He didn't chastise her or tell her to knock it off. He said, "My dear Martha..." Do you think that phrase alone may have had a calming effect on her? Jesus had a relationship with her, and instead of getting agitated by her distraction and busyness and whining, He spoke to her in a loving and gentle manner.

"My dear (insert your name)..."

Instead of being worried and upset over the details of your life and the lives of your children, listen as the Lord gently calls your name. Pause. Take a breath. He is telling you what is most important. Spend time at His feet. "Seek first the Kingdom of Heaven..." (Matthew 6:33) That's what Mary was doing while Martha was scurrying around, trying to make everything just so. Mary sat at Jesus' feet.

Now, does this mean that you need to spend hours every morning in Bible study and prayer? Not necessarily. Yes, read your Bible. Yes, pray. Sometimes, it may mean that you pray while you're in the shower because no one else can interrupt you there. It may mean that you read your Bible for 10 minutes while your kids are outside playing. The how isn't important; there isn't a set formula. Mary set an example for us--she simply sat at Jesus' feet. We don't even know how long she sat there. Maybe it was just for five minutes, or maybe it was for an hour. What we do see is that she was intentional about spending time with the Lord. She chose what held eternal importance, and it wasn't dusting or washing dishes or running kids all around the county for activities and being so stressed that she couldn't see straight.

As I read this passage in my Bible on Sunday morning before church, this is what ministered to me: Busyness is a trap. I need to be intentional about the time that I spend with the Lord, because seeking first His Kingdom is what will cause everything else to fall into place. Yes, I will still have work to do. There will still be responsibilities. But if I seek Him first, I will be modeling for my children how to do that and the importance that it carries, and then they will grow up to be adults who seek God daily and rely on Him for their every need.

If you find yourself caught up in the trap of "Martha, Martha, Martha..."

Pause.

Take a breath.

And hear the Lord saying to you, "My dear (insert your name)..."

Sit at His feet today. Listen to what He has to say to you. And know that you are loved.

Seven Years of Classical Conversations

My bunch at the beginning of the school year.

Seven. That is the number of years that we have been with our Classical Conversations community. We started with Classical Conversations when my oldest was ready to begin Kindergarten, and we haven't looked back.

We have learned so much in our seven years with Classical Conversations. My oldest daughter will achieve the title of Memory Master for the fourth year in a row, and my oldest son is gearing up to try for Memory Master next year. We have learned so many different things! Here is just a sampling of what we have learned over the past seven years:

• A timeline of historical events, beginning with Creation and going through the present day.
• All of the Presidents of the United States.
• Multiplication facts, math laws, conversions, and geometry facts.
• Latin noun declensions, verbs, and then finally translating John 1:1-7 from English into Latin (yes, in the Elementary grades!).
• Rocks and minerals, the parts of the earth, the classification of living things, weather systems, volcanoes, plants, human anatomy.
• History sentences from ancient history up through United States history. (My kids can tell you about the Mound Builders, the liberation of South America, the Crusades, and WWII!)
• The definitions of a preposition, a helping verb, and a linking verb and a listing of each category, as well as how to conjugate different infinitives (my daughter can tell you the difference between "to lay" and "to lie").
• They can point out many different places on the map, from ancient civilizations to knowing where Constantinople/Istanbul is located, from European countries to the states and capitals of the United States.

All of that is a sampling of what they have learned in the Foundations program. My oldest daughter also spent two years in Essentials, which is an intensive grammar and writing program for kids in the 4th-6th grades. She memorized adverbs and adjectives and the questions that they answer, she can tell you what an Object Complement Noun is and show you how to diagram it correctly, she even know the difference between a gerund and an infinitive. How many of you learned those things in the 5th and 6th grades? I certainly didn't! Not only that, she has already written two major research papers and had to present them before an audience of her peers and adults.

So, why Classical Conversations? Classical Conversation is a Christian classical community. For us, the classical model of learning is the best fit. I love how it utilizes repetition and memorization and how as the children get older they naturally start to fit things together and want to search out things for themselves. When my daughter was in Kindergarten, she didn't know why she was memorizing skip counting songs. When she started learning her multiplication tables, though, she got it! That was one of her lightbulb moments! She looked at e and said, "Mommy, multiplication is easy! It's just skip counting." When she gets into Algebra, she will put these different laws that she has memorized for seven years into use and may well have yet another lightbulb moment. 

I said that Classical Conversations is a Christian community. I love that we put God at the center of all that we learn and we show how all of the different things that we are learning are connected to each other and to God.

My family has also loved the community aspect of Classical Conversations. We have built some amazing friendships through Classical Conversations. We have walked with each other through sicknesses, births, deaths, and family crises. We have laughed and cried together. We have sent a family out on the mission field and welcomed them home with loving arms when their time overseas was over. We are preparing to send them out again! We eat together and play together, and we have spent time studying the Word of God and praying together.

Are we going to call it quits now that we have seven years under our belts? No way! This is just the beginning for us! My oldest daughter is excited to enter the Challenge program in the fall and will take a Latin class over the summer, which is taught by an older Challenge student, to help her prepare for Challenge. My oldest son and I are tossing around the idea of him taking Essentials next year. My youngest daughter will begin her second year of Classical Conversations, and my youngest son still isn't old enough for school. We love Classical Conversations and all that we have learned so far. Yes, we. Even this mama has learned a lot while homeschooling. I enjoy learning right alongside my kids, learning things that are new to me and rediscovering things that I "dumped" after a test. Perhaps one year soon, I will even try to make Memory Master with my kids!

What kinds of things have you learned while homeschooling your children? Are you part of a loving and supportive community?  What has your homeschooling journey been like so far? I would love to hear from you in the comments!

My Baby Niece and a Treasured Friendship

Disclaimer: This blog post has absolutely nothing to do with homeschooling or single parenting. But it is about the goodness of our Lord and His provision.

Finally!  I am so excited that I feel like I am bursting at the seams! My sister just had her first baby, a beautiful baby girl! I'm an aunt!

Baby R is our Valentine's gift. I texted my sister this picture of the strawberries I was preparing for my kids the night before, with the following message:

"Tell R that Aunt Megan says Valentine's Day would be a good day to show up. ;-) Bribe her with strawberries. Tell her I will make her things like this for her birthday every year! I'll even dip them in chocolate!"

Is it terribly noticeable that I am excited to become an aunt?

So, my text message bribe worked! (Because, as you all know, aunts have this special connection with their unborn nieces and nephews!) Baby R was born on Valentine's Day. I received a text message from my sister around 5 a.m. the next day saying that the baby was being taken to the NICU at a hospital in my state, about an hour and a half from where I live. My family all lives in a neighboring state, and this means that my sister, who is recovering from the birth, will be in a separate hospital in another state, away from her newborn daughter. How my heart broke for my sister upon receiving that text.

Her husband went with Baby R to the hospital so that she wouldn't be alone. What a choice to have to make! Go with your newborn child to another hospital in a neighboring state or stay with your wife who just had an emergency c-section. My heart goes out to my brother-in-law, as I know that his heart was likely torn in that decision.

All of that lead up to receiving a 10 p.m. text from my sister asking if my best friend from forever, who lives in the town where her daughter is, would be willing to go sit with Baby R on Monday so that she won't be alone. My brother-in-law has to go home Monday, and there is a major snowstorm headed for this entire area. So, what did I do? I called my best friend. Yes, I called her at 10 p.m. After she already had her own children in bed. And she may have even been in bed herself. And because she is my best friend, she answered.

I shared with her my sister's request, and she didn't even hesitate. All she needed to know was when my sister needed her to be there. Aside from her own brief commitment later in the day, she has promised to go sit with my niece in the NICU so that she isn't alone.

Look at how the Lord provided for my sister, brother-in-law, and their newborn daughter! There is no blood family who can be there with Baby R, but my best friend is practically family and I know that she will be with her and pray over her and likely sing to her (she is a worship leader). Of all the times that I have wished we lived closer together and got to see each other more often than we do, tonight I am so very thankful that she lives where she does, 15 minutes from the NICU, and that she can go love on Baby R.

God has given us such a treasure in lifelong friendships.

Perhaps I should make my best friend some dipped strawberries.

Fill Your Tank!

A few days ago, I read a great email from the Fly Lady about filling your tank. We all know that it's not a good idea to let our vehicles run near empty, or even push it to running on fumes. How often, though, do we push ourselves to running on fumes?

As single moms, it is seemingly easier to justify running on empty than it is for us to actually take care of ourselves so that we can better take care of our families.

Now, I am guilty of pushing myself to exhaustion, running on fumes, and then being Grouchy Mom as a result. Is this honoring the Lord? Honestly, it isn't. What kind of message does this teach my children if they never see me taking care of myself, filling up my own tank?

The best I have done in this area was to take a cup of decaf coffee and a book or my Bible out to the picnic table late in the evening a few times back in the summer. Because I am not the best in this area, I went to FaceBook and asked some single moms in a couple of closed forums how they fill their tanks. Here are some of their responses.

"I make sure that I workout 3-4 times a week."

"Part of [my] weekly goal list is an item called fun. So even if I'm just planning for fun, I still make sure I am taking care of my needs."

"I get a massage every 6 weeks, and try to exercise a couple times a week. As my kids got older, I had to be okay with learning to lean on my church family so I could take a girls' weekend with my friends every once in a while."

"I found that taking a relaxing bubble bath after the kids have gone to bed helped me. It's nice to take a few minutes for myself once in a while instead of just doing housework."

"I take a long, hot bath with a good book. Reading has always made me feel recharged."

"I sit in my favorite chair or lie down for a short nap while listening to 'Classical Unwind' on iTunes."

"I take warm baths, read, spend time with God, and have some Nutella and milk."

"I get a massage every month (splurged on a Massage Envy membership) and I try to take 1/2 hour every night to either read or play a game on the computer--something just for me."

"I live two hours from the ocean, and every 2-3 months I go to the ocean for a whole day by myself. My day is filled with songs of worship and praise in my heart. The waves, the clarity of the water, and the wildlife that abounds there create peace in me and I am able to hear God more clearly. It's like the pieces of my chaotic single-mom life are put into place like a puzzle. It's not an escape. It is truly a heart fill-up."

John 10:10 says, "I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." Full. Not running on fumes. Not 1/4 of a tank. Not even 3/4 of a tank. Full! That is what the Lord intends for us.

How about you, friend? What do you do to fill up your tank? Please leave your ideas in the comments section below!

A Little Homeschool DIY

Peacefully homeschooling. Zero conflict. No whining or complaining. Schoolwork that gets accomplished without nagging or tears (from the kids or from you!). 

Sounds ideal, right? It is definitely something we all dream of and hope for and strive to achieve. If your home is anything like mine, it doesn't happen. At least not every day, and not all day on the days that it does happen. I have four sweet kids... and four very different, dynamic personalities attached to those four kids. And those personalities don't always mesh.

We have had a lot of struggle with homeschooling this year. Not with the schoolwork itself, but just with life. There has been a lot of conflict between my two school-age kids this year. She's the bossy older sister, he's the irritating younger brother. She sits still (mostly) to do her work, he doesn't sit still ever.

We have a small home. Honestly, it's too small for five people. Someday, I know that God will bless us with a larger home and a big yard to go with it! (Because that younger brother who never sits still, ever, truly needs a lot more outside time than he currently is able to get.) For now, though, I am learning to make it work and to be content. We do not have space for a designated school room or school area, so we spend a lot of time at the table. She takes a chair on one side, he takes a chair on the other side, and they get to their work.

A couple of weeks into the school year, the bickering began. It was mostly petty stuff, and I found myself spending a good chunk of our school time correcting behavior that they should be well past by now. So, we went to Walmart and purchased two, small, tri-fold presentation boards. We came home, and I told them that they could decorate them however they wanted and with whatever they chose, and that was going to give them their own space to do their schoolwork. They were so excited and got right to it! They decorated their tri-fold boards the way they wanted and proudly set them up on the table each day so that they had their own space and couldn't see each other during school time. It worked...for a while.

Now that we are into the second semester, the bickering is back. Even the tri-fold boards provide fuel for their arguments. "She knocked my board down!" "He poked his pencil through my board!" What's a mom to do?

A week ago, I figured it out. My two daughters share a bedroom, and the dresser they had in their room was no longer functional. The drawers were falling apart and just couldn't be fixed. Believe me, I had tried. One of them wouldn't open without major effort on my part, so there was no way my four-year-old girl could get it open. I found a great dresser on Craigslist a couple of weeks ago to replace their old dresser, but I still hadn't gotten the old one out of their room. I knew I wanted to do something with it for my oldest son, but just wasn't sure what.

Last Monday, it hit me. Build him a desk! Since it was an unusually warm January day where we live, I decided to do it that same day. So, I hauled the dresser out of the girls' room and out to the driveway, took a few measurements, got out the circular saw and some other tools, and got to work.

First, I took the drawers out of the dresser and began removing the drawer glides from the inside of the dresser.

Then, I took the circular saw and cut the dresser down to size. That really impressed my oldest son, who is 7 years old. He told me afterward, "Mom, you've got some power!" After cutting down the sides, trimming the cardboard backing, and sanding where I had cut, I reattached the support piece to the bottom, put in the one functional drawer, and voila! A working desk perfect for a young boy!

The next day for school, he asked if he could do his work at his desk. He loved it! He got his work done quicker, he was able to focus on the work in front of him, and there was no bickering.

He still doesn't sit when he does his work, and that's okay. His not sitting isn't bothering anyone, he can tap on the desk or hum without bothering anyone, and both kids are getting their work done in peace, which means that we have peace in the home during school!

You can do it, friend! A little homeschool DIY may be just the thing you need to help your school time flow a little better. I promise, power tools really aren't as scary as they seem, and you just may impress your kids in the process. :)

God is Faithful!

"Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father, there is no shadow of turning with Thee;"

This hymn has rolled around in my spirit a lot during this year. As 2014 comes to a close, I can look back and honestly tell you that God is faithful. He keeps His Word. He doesn't betray us, He doesn't leave us, and He doesn't let our needs go unmet.

I have looked back at the bills that have been paid--every single one has been paid on time. Every one! We have not lacked food to eat, clothes to wear, or a home to keep us warm and out of the elements. God has provided for our every need!

As we headed into the Christmas season, like many of you, I began to feel stressed. I knew what was in my checking account. I knew there wasn't a lot of extra to be able to buy gifts for my kids. But I went to the Lord, and only the Lord, about it. I didn't tell Him that I needed a certain amount of money in order to buy gifts; I just asked Him to provide so that they could have a few things under the tree. You see, prior to this, I accepted a job and had to quit the job two weeks later. It wasn't the right fit for our family. On a Wednesday night, as we were headed to church, I had gotten on to my oldest child and told her to stop trying to do my job. She truly wants to help, and she has a big heart... sometimes, her "helping" doesn't come across that way and stirs stuff up between the kids because she is overstepping her boundaries and crossing into my territory, attempting to boss the other kids around. Well, when we got to church that night and the kids were in their classes, I went into the sanctuary for the last little bit of praise and worship. As I lifted my hands in surrender to the Lord and began laying things at His feet, He told me in a very familiar tone, "Would you stop trying to do my job?" Ouch! Message received!

It was after this that I went to the Lord with what was on my heart for the coming Christmas season. He said that He would provide and to just trust Him. So I did. 

Then I received a phone call from someone asking if it would be okay to help with the kids' gifts this year; the call so took me by surprise that I was struck speechless and the person on the other end thought that the connection had been lost! I stepped outside on that cold afternoon and shared with the person  the kids' clothing sizes, what they needed, and a couple of things from their wish lists. After that, another person approached me and said that a certain group also wanted to help with the kids' Christmas gifts. I was given some money to be able to buy them a few gifts, just in time for the Black Friday sales. 

This is just a taste of what God has done for us this year. As I said, we have not lacked for anything that we have truly needed. He has provided. God is faithful, and He has shown His faithfulness over and over again!

As this year comes to a close, I want to encourage you to look back and see where He has proven Himself faithful in your life this year, and trust Him to continue to provide for your every need in 2015. Friend, God is faithful, and remember this verse from Matthew 6:

"Look at the birds. They don't plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren't you far more valuable to him than they are?"

God loves you, friend; and as my pastor often says, He even likes you!

He is faithful!