Friendship and Community

We have finished our 6th year of homeschooling, our 6th year with Classical Conversations, and my first year as a tutor with Classical Conversations (CC). Our CC community has been invaluable to us, both from a homeschooling stance and from a personal one. More than ever, we needed that sense of community that comes with our CC group this past year. They held us up, supported us, and encouraged us. But more about that in a minute.

As a tutor, I am required to attend the free, three-day Parent Practicum that is offered each summer.Today was the last of the three days for our local Practicum, and it was phenomenal! Although we have been in CC for the past 6 years, I didn't really have a vision for where we would be going with education and with CC. This Practicum really solved that for me. Today, during the morning session, the speaker showed a few slides that laid out what our children will learn in each of the Challenge levels (Challenge A and Challenge B are middle school, and Challenges I-IV are high school), and I am so excited! I truly wish that I had been taught classically. I think that I would have been better prepared for college and for life. I am glad that my children will have this opportunity to be taught HOW to learn in such a wonderful manner.

One of the things that CC stresses is community. As homeschoolers, we need that supportive community around us to help us as we educate our children. The speaker stated it so eloquently this week when she remarked, on more than one occasion, that there was "so much wisdom in the room." As a community, that is vitally important. What an opportunity to learn from those Titus 2 women and then to become a Titus 2 woman yourself as you help other new homeschoolers. She also talked about community, and how our CC community is a vital support network, not only in an educational way but also in a personal way. A few moms stood to say how they have been blessed by the community that is CC. They have developed friendships with ladies whom they know they can call anytime, who would help them in any way possible; one woman stood to give testimony about how the CC community in our area (comprised of 3 local CC communities) came together to support her and her family during a very serious medical crisis, and many had never even met her or her family.

In the life of my family, CC has been a huge blessing during this past year. My director was one of just a couple of people who knew that I had become a single mom last  summer. I called her and had a very candid conversation about returning to CC and what that may look like and would I be able to be a tutor given recent events and would we still be welcomed in our community--because, let's face it. When you are thrust into a major life change, the enemy comes at you with all kinds of doubts and fears and irrational thoughts. My director so patiently listened to all of these fears and thoughts and alleviated them one by one. So I made the commitment to stick with CC one more year; if for no other reason than the kids would need the support of their friends. You know what? Mama did, too.

My friends in our CC community rallied around us all year; they threw a surprise birthday party, provided meals, and blessed our family in a variety of ways. We could have made it through this last year, but it was made easier with the friendships and the community that we have with CC. They were part of our Aaron and Hur (see Exodus 17:12).

I am incredibly thankful for the community of believers and homeschoolers the Lord has placed us in with our local CC community .

What about you? Do you have a good support system for homeschooling and for life? Feel free to share about it in the comments!

Don't Shrink Back!

Do you ever need encouragement? I do. And today was just one of those days. I was weary and grumpy and ended the day feeling quite lonely, if I may be so honest. So, instead of sitting there having a pity party, I started looking through my journal from earlier this year.

On the way home from church one Sunday morning, I heard a devotional on the radio which ended with this verse:

"But we are not among those who shrink back and so are lost, but among those who have faith and so are saved." (Hebrews 10:39, NRSV)

I have a few different versions of the Bible on my bookshelf and can compare translations pretty easily. (Yes, I know this can also be done with the Bible app... but I'm one of those who prefers actual books, especially my Bibles.) I took the time to look this up in the Amplified. It reads:

"But our way is not that of those who draw back to eternal misery (perdition) and are utterly destroyed, but we are of those who believe [who cleave to and trust in and rely on God through Jesus Christ, the Messiah] and by faith preserve the soul."

My question to you--and to me--is this: In what areas have you shrunk back and not trusted in and relied on God as much as you could? I can name a couple of areas for me. And in those areas, it always comes back to trusting in God. Trusting in Him instead of relying on my own thoughts and ideas and ways to get things done.

My encouragement for you today is to not shrink back and to continue to put your trust in the Lord. He will never, ever fail you!

Father's Day

Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there! 

My pastor had an interesting message this morning for Father's Day. He talked about how important dads are in the lives of their kids... whether they are still married to their kids' mom or not. He encouraged all the dads (and moms) to truly spend time with their children, because that one thing--spending time, giving our children our complete, undivided attention--is one of the two most important things that will keep them from falling into the "statistics" that are out there about single parent families. The other is teaching them about the Lord and teaching them to rely on Him.

Today, tomorrow, and every day, when your child comes up to you to talk to you, stop what you're doing and look at them when they talk to you. Give them your attention. And when you have to discipline them, make sure that they know that you love them.

Now, because my oldest daughter has gotten me hooked on this song that she heard at church camp last week, here is a song for your Sunday. Enjoy!

Sibling Rivalry

My kids getting along.

What family of more than one child has not dealt with sibling rivalry on some level? If you haven't, please email me and tell me how you've done it! :)

At the convention last Saturday, I noticed one of the workshops called "Is Your Homeschool C.H.A.O.S. (Contstantly Heckling Always Over Something)?" and thought, "Wow... this is one I really need to attend." I just knew that Susan Kemmerer was going to be like Special Agent Oso and give us three special steps to cut out the sibling rivalry in our homes.

Nope. Would you like to know what her very first answer was to sibling rivalry?

Look in the mirror.

Yep. It starts with you.  She even gave a great paraphrase of James 1:20.

"The anger of mom does not produce the righteousness of God."

Well now! How often have I gotten angry with my kids over their childish behavior and their lack of self-control? She wasn't saying that we shouldn't get angry with our kids. But she was saying that our anger doesn't produce righteousness in our kids. It doesn't bring about justification. Justification comes by grace alone!

Do I always show my kids grace? No. But the great part about this workshop was that it hit on so many things that the Lord has been teaching me about parenting my children over the last year or so, and what she said really reinforced so many things. I need to teach my kids to show grace toward each other by extending grace to them. I need to teach them to walk in kindness by putting on kindness and practicing kindness. The only way they will learn to be gentle with each other is if I am gentle with them.

She gave so many Scripture references, and I really need to take the time to look them all up and ask the Lord to help me to apply them to me first so that I can then teach the kids to apply them to their own lives. Susan Kemmerer was right; if you want to end sibling rivalry in your home, look in the mirror. It starts with you.

Raising a Critical Thinker

At the HEAV Convention on Saturday, this was the title of the first workshop I attended. It was given by a young lady from GeoMatters. I had expectations when I walked into this workshop; I was going to learn about some products I could use to help encourage critical thinking skills with my two oldest children, maybe they would talk about the differences in the ways boys and girls think (which would be great since I have both boys and girls), and I would be encouraged  to visit their booth in the exhibit hall for some great critical thinking products. And in the back of my head, I was thinking, "GeoMatters. Sounds like it is a geography company. What does that have to do with critical thinking? Well, I'll go anyway because my kids could use some help in this area."

And what I came away with? Practical parenting advice! (Remember, I told you yesterday that the theme for me seemed to be parenting.)

The speaker was excellent! (I wish I had caught her name.) In regards to critical thinking, she encouraged us to: ask open-ended questions; to give the kids jobs to help them learn to plan and to serve (to the best of their ability, not to the best of mom's ability); to stress teamwork; and to be an encourager. I can say that stressing teamwork has been something I have done a lot of but not consistently, and boy, do I need to remember that they are kids and can't do things on my level! (Do you need that reminder, too?)

When they make mistakes, turn it around and ask what could have gone right, what they could have done differently in order to avoid making that mistake. This is a life skill, not just something to apply to Math, English, Geography, etc. And it is a parenting issue. How often have I gotten upset with one of the kids for spilling milk for the millionth time, and always when we are running late? Granted, the Lord had already started working on my heart with this one, but this was the reminder that I needed to hear.

She did bring things back to the classroom, and even used Bloom's Taxonomy, which I had learned about in college but had forgotten about, to help us see how critical thinking develops. And she even listed a few resources for us to look at sometime--more summer reading for mom! But at the end, she brought it all back to this one point:

You can't teach your children everything they need to know, but you can teach them how to think.

As homechooling parents, it is easy to feel like it is our responsibility to teach them absolutely everything. But it isn't. If we teach them how to think, as opposed to what to think, then they will have the skills they need to be life-long learners.

Proverbs 3:5-6 says:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;

in all your ways submit to Him, and he will direct your paths.

Above all else, teach them how to trust in the Lord and how to completely rely on Him. He will show them the plans that He has for them.

(*Disclaimer: I have not been asked by GeoMatters to write a post on their HEAV Convention workshop, nor have I been compensated by them in any way. These are just a sampling of the notes that I took during the workshop combined with my own thoughts on what I learned.)

Convention Time!

I realize that it's not best to skip several days in a row right after you launch your blog site, but I have a great reason for not writing. I went to the HEAV Convention!

For those who may not know, HEAV is THE homeschool site for the state of Virginia. If I have a homeschooling question, that is usually the first place I turn. They also have a great Facebook page; look them up!

This past Thursday-Saturday was the annual HEAV Convention in Richmond. I attended for the first time last year and drove there and back home both Friday and Saturday. This year, a friend and I shared a hotel room within walking distance of the Convention. Neither of us brought children with us, even though that is certainly an option as there are activities for the kids to participate in each day. If you are a Virginia homeschooler and have never attended the HEAV Convention, please consider attending next year. It is so worth it!

Most of the workshops I attended this year dealt with parenting issues even more than homeschooling issues. Honestly, this was exactly what I needed in this season of life. I have been a single mom for a year and have relaxed in some areas but have become a bit more uptight stressed in others. 

My first stop was the FlyLady's workshop on Thursday. I have heard about her and her methods, and I was looking forward to learning more about her methods (which I did...in fact, we had a "home blessing" just yesterday!), but more than that I walked away with practical parenting advice. What the FlyLady stressed (to me, anyway) was allowing the kids to help. As homeschooling parents, part of teaching our children at home includes teaching them to maintain a home. As a single parent, it is vitally important to include children in the maintenance of the home. I learned from the FlyLady that I need to examine myself and let go of perfectionist tendencies even more than I already have; otherwise, the kids won't want to help because they don't do it mom's way. I will admit that I have relaxed on how the towels are folded; as long as they are folded and put away in a pretty decent way, it's good. But I can see that I have areas where I need to relax and let go and will truly work on those things.

Friday, two of the sessions I attended dealt with grace, gentleness, and delighting in our children. I received so much encouragement and refreshment for my mommy-heart in those two hours that it truly felt as though I had been on a vacation at the beach. I will share more about those workshops this week.

Saturday, I attended a workshop about being organized in your homeschool. Organization isn't one of my strong suits; in fact, if you follow me on Pinterest you'll see that I have a huge organization category. Believe it or not, I have actually implemented a couple of the ideas! But one of the main things that I walked away from that workshop with was having margin--or white space--on your calendar. The speaker defined that as the distance between where you are and your personal limit (emotional, physical, financial, time, etc.). She gave us the freedom to say no! How much pressure is there on us as homeschoolers to have our children involved in this activity and that activity and to run to this function and that function, and to join this co-op and use that curriculum, and... whew! Learning to say no and learning to leave white space on the calendar will allow me to let go and to really enjoy this season of homeschooling my children instead of waking up looking forward to bedtime because we are going to be so busy that day.

The highlight of the day on Saturday was, by far, the Single Parents' Luncheon. HEAV is so generous and really cares about their homeschooling community across the state, and that includes the single parent homeschoolers. That luncheon was a time to relax and to enjoy a meal with other single homeschoolers, to realize that we aren't alone in our efforts, and to share what has worked and what hasn't and to offer support to each other. This was my second year to attend the luncheon, and it was nice to see a couple of familiar faces and to meet some new people, too. 

I plan to share more about the convention this week, so keep an eye on this space! I'll share some of my notes and some of what really encouraged me from the different workshops I attended. I hope that it blesses you, too!