My Baby Niece and a Treasured Friendship

Disclaimer: This blog post has absolutely nothing to do with homeschooling or single parenting. But it is about the goodness of our Lord and His provision.

Finally!  I am so excited that I feel like I am bursting at the seams! My sister just had her first baby, a beautiful baby girl! I'm an aunt!

Baby R is our Valentine's gift. I texted my sister this picture of the strawberries I was preparing for my kids the night before, with the following message:

"Tell R that Aunt Megan says Valentine's Day would be a good day to show up. ;-) Bribe her with strawberries. Tell her I will make her things like this for her birthday every year! I'll even dip them in chocolate!"

Is it terribly noticeable that I am excited to become an aunt?

So, my text message bribe worked! (Because, as you all know, aunts have this special connection with their unborn nieces and nephews!) Baby R was born on Valentine's Day. I received a text message from my sister around 5 a.m. the next day saying that the baby was being taken to the NICU at a hospital in my state, about an hour and a half from where I live. My family all lives in a neighboring state, and this means that my sister, who is recovering from the birth, will be in a separate hospital in another state, away from her newborn daughter. How my heart broke for my sister upon receiving that text.

Her husband went with Baby R to the hospital so that she wouldn't be alone. What a choice to have to make! Go with your newborn child to another hospital in a neighboring state or stay with your wife who just had an emergency c-section. My heart goes out to my brother-in-law, as I know that his heart was likely torn in that decision.

All of that lead up to receiving a 10 p.m. text from my sister asking if my best friend from forever, who lives in the town where her daughter is, would be willing to go sit with Baby R on Monday so that she won't be alone. My brother-in-law has to go home Monday, and there is a major snowstorm headed for this entire area. So, what did I do? I called my best friend. Yes, I called her at 10 p.m. After she already had her own children in bed. And she may have even been in bed herself. And because she is my best friend, she answered.

I shared with her my sister's request, and she didn't even hesitate. All she needed to know was when my sister needed her to be there. Aside from her own brief commitment later in the day, she has promised to go sit with my niece in the NICU so that she isn't alone.

Look at how the Lord provided for my sister, brother-in-law, and their newborn daughter! There is no blood family who can be there with Baby R, but my best friend is practically family and I know that she will be with her and pray over her and likely sing to her (she is a worship leader). Of all the times that I have wished we lived closer together and got to see each other more often than we do, tonight I am so very thankful that she lives where she does, 15 minutes from the NICU, and that she can go love on Baby R.

God has given us such a treasure in lifelong friendships.

Perhaps I should make my best friend some dipped strawberries.

Fill Your Tank!

A few days ago, I read a great email from the Fly Lady about filling your tank. We all know that it's not a good idea to let our vehicles run near empty, or even push it to running on fumes. How often, though, do we push ourselves to running on fumes?

As single moms, it is seemingly easier to justify running on empty than it is for us to actually take care of ourselves so that we can better take care of our families.

Now, I am guilty of pushing myself to exhaustion, running on fumes, and then being Grouchy Mom as a result. Is this honoring the Lord? Honestly, it isn't. What kind of message does this teach my children if they never see me taking care of myself, filling up my own tank?

The best I have done in this area was to take a cup of decaf coffee and a book or my Bible out to the picnic table late in the evening a few times back in the summer. Because I am not the best in this area, I went to FaceBook and asked some single moms in a couple of closed forums how they fill their tanks. Here are some of their responses.

"I make sure that I workout 3-4 times a week."

"Part of [my] weekly goal list is an item called fun. So even if I'm just planning for fun, I still make sure I am taking care of my needs."

"I get a massage every 6 weeks, and try to exercise a couple times a week. As my kids got older, I had to be okay with learning to lean on my church family so I could take a girls' weekend with my friends every once in a while."

"I found that taking a relaxing bubble bath after the kids have gone to bed helped me. It's nice to take a few minutes for myself once in a while instead of just doing housework."

"I take a long, hot bath with a good book. Reading has always made me feel recharged."

"I sit in my favorite chair or lie down for a short nap while listening to 'Classical Unwind' on iTunes."

"I take warm baths, read, spend time with God, and have some Nutella and milk."

"I get a massage every month (splurged on a Massage Envy membership) and I try to take 1/2 hour every night to either read or play a game on the computer--something just for me."

"I live two hours from the ocean, and every 2-3 months I go to the ocean for a whole day by myself. My day is filled with songs of worship and praise in my heart. The waves, the clarity of the water, and the wildlife that abounds there create peace in me and I am able to hear God more clearly. It's like the pieces of my chaotic single-mom life are put into place like a puzzle. It's not an escape. It is truly a heart fill-up."

John 10:10 says, "I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." Full. Not running on fumes. Not 1/4 of a tank. Not even 3/4 of a tank. Full! That is what the Lord intends for us.

How about you, friend? What do you do to fill up your tank? Please leave your ideas in the comments section below!

A Little Homeschool DIY

Peacefully homeschooling. Zero conflict. No whining or complaining. Schoolwork that gets accomplished without nagging or tears (from the kids or from you!). 

Sounds ideal, right? It is definitely something we all dream of and hope for and strive to achieve. If your home is anything like mine, it doesn't happen. At least not every day, and not all day on the days that it does happen. I have four sweet kids... and four very different, dynamic personalities attached to those four kids. And those personalities don't always mesh.

We have had a lot of struggle with homeschooling this year. Not with the schoolwork itself, but just with life. There has been a lot of conflict between my two school-age kids this year. She's the bossy older sister, he's the irritating younger brother. She sits still (mostly) to do her work, he doesn't sit still ever.

We have a small home. Honestly, it's too small for five people. Someday, I know that God will bless us with a larger home and a big yard to go with it! (Because that younger brother who never sits still, ever, truly needs a lot more outside time than he currently is able to get.) For now, though, I am learning to make it work and to be content. We do not have space for a designated school room or school area, so we spend a lot of time at the table. She takes a chair on one side, he takes a chair on the other side, and they get to their work.

A couple of weeks into the school year, the bickering began. It was mostly petty stuff, and I found myself spending a good chunk of our school time correcting behavior that they should be well past by now. So, we went to Walmart and purchased two, small, tri-fold presentation boards. We came home, and I told them that they could decorate them however they wanted and with whatever they chose, and that was going to give them their own space to do their schoolwork. They were so excited and got right to it! They decorated their tri-fold boards the way they wanted and proudly set them up on the table each day so that they had their own space and couldn't see each other during school time. It worked...for a while.

Now that we are into the second semester, the bickering is back. Even the tri-fold boards provide fuel for their arguments. "She knocked my board down!" "He poked his pencil through my board!" What's a mom to do?

A week ago, I figured it out. My two daughters share a bedroom, and the dresser they had in their room was no longer functional. The drawers were falling apart and just couldn't be fixed. Believe me, I had tried. One of them wouldn't open without major effort on my part, so there was no way my four-year-old girl could get it open. I found a great dresser on Craigslist a couple of weeks ago to replace their old dresser, but I still hadn't gotten the old one out of their room. I knew I wanted to do something with it for my oldest son, but just wasn't sure what.

Last Monday, it hit me. Build him a desk! Since it was an unusually warm January day where we live, I decided to do it that same day. So, I hauled the dresser out of the girls' room and out to the driveway, took a few measurements, got out the circular saw and some other tools, and got to work.

First, I took the drawers out of the dresser and began removing the drawer glides from the inside of the dresser.

Then, I took the circular saw and cut the dresser down to size. That really impressed my oldest son, who is 7 years old. He told me afterward, "Mom, you've got some power!" After cutting down the sides, trimming the cardboard backing, and sanding where I had cut, I reattached the support piece to the bottom, put in the one functional drawer, and voila! A working desk perfect for a young boy!

The next day for school, he asked if he could do his work at his desk. He loved it! He got his work done quicker, he was able to focus on the work in front of him, and there was no bickering.

He still doesn't sit when he does his work, and that's okay. His not sitting isn't bothering anyone, he can tap on the desk or hum without bothering anyone, and both kids are getting their work done in peace, which means that we have peace in the home during school!

You can do it, friend! A little homeschool DIY may be just the thing you need to help your school time flow a little better. I promise, power tools really aren't as scary as they seem, and you just may impress your kids in the process. :)