God is Faithful!

"Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father, there is no shadow of turning with Thee;"

This hymn has rolled around in my spirit a lot during this year. As 2014 comes to a close, I can look back and honestly tell you that God is faithful. He keeps His Word. He doesn't betray us, He doesn't leave us, and He doesn't let our needs go unmet.

I have looked back at the bills that have been paid--every single one has been paid on time. Every one! We have not lacked food to eat, clothes to wear, or a home to keep us warm and out of the elements. God has provided for our every need!

As we headed into the Christmas season, like many of you, I began to feel stressed. I knew what was in my checking account. I knew there wasn't a lot of extra to be able to buy gifts for my kids. But I went to the Lord, and only the Lord, about it. I didn't tell Him that I needed a certain amount of money in order to buy gifts; I just asked Him to provide so that they could have a few things under the tree. You see, prior to this, I accepted a job and had to quit the job two weeks later. It wasn't the right fit for our family. On a Wednesday night, as we were headed to church, I had gotten on to my oldest child and told her to stop trying to do my job. She truly wants to help, and she has a big heart... sometimes, her "helping" doesn't come across that way and stirs stuff up between the kids because she is overstepping her boundaries and crossing into my territory, attempting to boss the other kids around. Well, when we got to church that night and the kids were in their classes, I went into the sanctuary for the last little bit of praise and worship. As I lifted my hands in surrender to the Lord and began laying things at His feet, He told me in a very familiar tone, "Would you stop trying to do my job?" Ouch! Message received!

It was after this that I went to the Lord with what was on my heart for the coming Christmas season. He said that He would provide and to just trust Him. So I did. 

Then I received a phone call from someone asking if it would be okay to help with the kids' gifts this year; the call so took me by surprise that I was struck speechless and the person on the other end thought that the connection had been lost! I stepped outside on that cold afternoon and shared with the person  the kids' clothing sizes, what they needed, and a couple of things from their wish lists. After that, another person approached me and said that a certain group also wanted to help with the kids' Christmas gifts. I was given some money to be able to buy them a few gifts, just in time for the Black Friday sales. 

This is just a taste of what God has done for us this year. As I said, we have not lacked for anything that we have truly needed. He has provided. God is faithful, and He has shown His faithfulness over and over again!

As this year comes to a close, I want to encourage you to look back and see where He has proven Himself faithful in your life this year, and trust Him to continue to provide for your every need in 2015. Friend, God is faithful, and remember this verse from Matthew 6:

"Look at the birds. They don't plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren't you far more valuable to him than they are?"

God loves you, friend; and as my pastor often says, He even likes you!

He is faithful! 

I Just Wanted a Cup of Coffee!

My fourth child is two years old. The problem is, he doesn't believe he is only two years old. He thinks he is every bit as old as his older siblings and every bit as capable.

One morning last week, he and I were awake before the other kids, which really isn't that unusual. If I wake up first, he follows behind me within about 20 minutes. Sometimes I have time to get the coffee on before his feet hit the floor. This particular morning, I didn't.

My little buddy just about always wakes up hungry. Often, he will just ask for a cup of milk to tide him over until breakfast. This particular morning, I asked him to wait because breakfast wasn't too far away. I'm trying to teach him to wait, but it just didn't happen.

As any mama can attest, anything that can go wrong will go wrong when you have to go to the bathroom and you have a toddler in your home.

My conversation with my little buddy went like this:

Him: "Mommy, hungry. Want hot cereal." (He loves Cream of Wheat and has it a couple of times a week.)
Me: "Let's wait just a minute, buddy. Mommy has to potty, but I will fix you some hot cereal in just a minute."
Him: "Okay."

So I left the room. One of the advantages of having a small home is that you can hear everything that goes on, no matter what room you may be in at the time. I heard him getting into the pantry in the kitchen. No big deal, I thought. He's probably just getting into the Goldfish. He's really hungry this morning, so I'll just let it slide. Besides, I don't want to wake the other kids up just yet.

So when I headed back toward the kitchen, he met me in the living room with outstretched hands. "Hands dirty," he said. "Okay, buddy. I'll help you wash your hands in just a minute. Please let mommy get the coffee started." "Okay, mommy," he replied.

I stood at the counter in front of the coffee pot to get ready to set it up to brew and I noticed that the floor under my feet felt gritty. Hmm. Maybe he crushed up a couple of Goldfish here. But I didn't see anything on the floor. My kitchen flooring is kind of a gray-brown color; orange Goldfish crumbs would definitely show up on the floor.

I glance over at the rug in front of my sink and found this:

Hmm. Why is the sand bucket in here? Was there still some sand from the lake in the bucket and he dumped it on the floor? I thought to myself. I definitely wasn't firing on all cylinders just yet. If I could only get to that first cup of coffee...

So I headed over to the pantry to get the canister of coffee and noticed this on the floor:

A pudding box? Why is there a pudding box on the floor? And why is it open? Still not firing on all cylinders, so I got the coffee canister and set it on the counter. Then I grabbed the coffee pot and headed to the sink to fill it up with water. I could almost taste my morning java! And then, it all made sense. I found this on the sink:

Why yes, that is an entire package of pudding dumped on the edge of my sink! 

It seems that my little buddy was super hungry and decided that he just couldn't wait for a minute for mommy to fix his breakfast. He was determined to get that hot cereal himself! 

So, I had a choice to make. I could get upset about it, or I could take pictures and get a good laugh to start my day. I chose the latter. 

When I finally got my first cup of coffee, I poured it into my favorite coffee mug. 

It says, "M.O.M. Manager Of Messes." 

How appropriate!

I love toddlers. They really keep me on my toes!

Friendship and Community

We have finished our 6th year of homeschooling, our 6th year with Classical Conversations, and my first year as a tutor with Classical Conversations (CC). Our CC community has been invaluable to us, both from a homeschooling stance and from a personal one. More than ever, we needed that sense of community that comes with our CC group this past year. They held us up, supported us, and encouraged us. But more about that in a minute.

As a tutor, I am required to attend the free, three-day Parent Practicum that is offered each summer.Today was the last of the three days for our local Practicum, and it was phenomenal! Although we have been in CC for the past 6 years, I didn't really have a vision for where we would be going with education and with CC. This Practicum really solved that for me. Today, during the morning session, the speaker showed a few slides that laid out what our children will learn in each of the Challenge levels (Challenge A and Challenge B are middle school, and Challenges I-IV are high school), and I am so excited! I truly wish that I had been taught classically. I think that I would have been better prepared for college and for life. I am glad that my children will have this opportunity to be taught HOW to learn in such a wonderful manner.

One of the things that CC stresses is community. As homeschoolers, we need that supportive community around us to help us as we educate our children. The speaker stated it so eloquently this week when she remarked, on more than one occasion, that there was "so much wisdom in the room." As a community, that is vitally important. What an opportunity to learn from those Titus 2 women and then to become a Titus 2 woman yourself as you help other new homeschoolers. She also talked about community, and how our CC community is a vital support network, not only in an educational way but also in a personal way. A few moms stood to say how they have been blessed by the community that is CC. They have developed friendships with ladies whom they know they can call anytime, who would help them in any way possible; one woman stood to give testimony about how the CC community in our area (comprised of 3 local CC communities) came together to support her and her family during a very serious medical crisis, and many had never even met her or her family.

In the life of my family, CC has been a huge blessing during this past year. My director was one of just a couple of people who knew that I had become a single mom last  summer. I called her and had a very candid conversation about returning to CC and what that may look like and would I be able to be a tutor given recent events and would we still be welcomed in our community--because, let's face it. When you are thrust into a major life change, the enemy comes at you with all kinds of doubts and fears and irrational thoughts. My director so patiently listened to all of these fears and thoughts and alleviated them one by one. So I made the commitment to stick with CC one more year; if for no other reason than the kids would need the support of their friends. You know what? Mama did, too.

My friends in our CC community rallied around us all year; they threw a surprise birthday party, provided meals, and blessed our family in a variety of ways. We could have made it through this last year, but it was made easier with the friendships and the community that we have with CC. They were part of our Aaron and Hur (see Exodus 17:12).

I am incredibly thankful for the community of believers and homeschoolers the Lord has placed us in with our local CC community .

What about you? Do you have a good support system for homeschooling and for life? Feel free to share about it in the comments!

Don't Shrink Back!

Do you ever need encouragement? I do. And today was just one of those days. I was weary and grumpy and ended the day feeling quite lonely, if I may be so honest. So, instead of sitting there having a pity party, I started looking through my journal from earlier this year.

On the way home from church one Sunday morning, I heard a devotional on the radio which ended with this verse:

"But we are not among those who shrink back and so are lost, but among those who have faith and so are saved." (Hebrews 10:39, NRSV)

I have a few different versions of the Bible on my bookshelf and can compare translations pretty easily. (Yes, I know this can also be done with the Bible app... but I'm one of those who prefers actual books, especially my Bibles.) I took the time to look this up in the Amplified. It reads:

"But our way is not that of those who draw back to eternal misery (perdition) and are utterly destroyed, but we are of those who believe [who cleave to and trust in and rely on God through Jesus Christ, the Messiah] and by faith preserve the soul."

My question to you--and to me--is this: In what areas have you shrunk back and not trusted in and relied on God as much as you could? I can name a couple of areas for me. And in those areas, it always comes back to trusting in God. Trusting in Him instead of relying on my own thoughts and ideas and ways to get things done.

My encouragement for you today is to not shrink back and to continue to put your trust in the Lord. He will never, ever fail you!

Father's Day

Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there! 

My pastor had an interesting message this morning for Father's Day. He talked about how important dads are in the lives of their kids... whether they are still married to their kids' mom or not. He encouraged all the dads (and moms) to truly spend time with their children, because that one thing--spending time, giving our children our complete, undivided attention--is one of the two most important things that will keep them from falling into the "statistics" that are out there about single parent families. The other is teaching them about the Lord and teaching them to rely on Him.

Today, tomorrow, and every day, when your child comes up to you to talk to you, stop what you're doing and look at them when they talk to you. Give them your attention. And when you have to discipline them, make sure that they know that you love them.

Now, because my oldest daughter has gotten me hooked on this song that she heard at church camp last week, here is a song for your Sunday. Enjoy!

Sibling Rivalry

My kids getting along.

What family of more than one child has not dealt with sibling rivalry on some level? If you haven't, please email me and tell me how you've done it! :)

At the convention last Saturday, I noticed one of the workshops called "Is Your Homeschool C.H.A.O.S. (Contstantly Heckling Always Over Something)?" and thought, "Wow... this is one I really need to attend." I just knew that Susan Kemmerer was going to be like Special Agent Oso and give us three special steps to cut out the sibling rivalry in our homes.

Nope. Would you like to know what her very first answer was to sibling rivalry?

Look in the mirror.

Yep. It starts with you.  She even gave a great paraphrase of James 1:20.

"The anger of mom does not produce the righteousness of God."

Well now! How often have I gotten angry with my kids over their childish behavior and their lack of self-control? She wasn't saying that we shouldn't get angry with our kids. But she was saying that our anger doesn't produce righteousness in our kids. It doesn't bring about justification. Justification comes by grace alone!

Do I always show my kids grace? No. But the great part about this workshop was that it hit on so many things that the Lord has been teaching me about parenting my children over the last year or so, and what she said really reinforced so many things. I need to teach my kids to show grace toward each other by extending grace to them. I need to teach them to walk in kindness by putting on kindness and practicing kindness. The only way they will learn to be gentle with each other is if I am gentle with them.

She gave so many Scripture references, and I really need to take the time to look them all up and ask the Lord to help me to apply them to me first so that I can then teach the kids to apply them to their own lives. Susan Kemmerer was right; if you want to end sibling rivalry in your home, look in the mirror. It starts with you.

Raising a Critical Thinker

At the HEAV Convention on Saturday, this was the title of the first workshop I attended. It was given by a young lady from GeoMatters. I had expectations when I walked into this workshop; I was going to learn about some products I could use to help encourage critical thinking skills with my two oldest children, maybe they would talk about the differences in the ways boys and girls think (which would be great since I have both boys and girls), and I would be encouraged  to visit their booth in the exhibit hall for some great critical thinking products. And in the back of my head, I was thinking, "GeoMatters. Sounds like it is a geography company. What does that have to do with critical thinking? Well, I'll go anyway because my kids could use some help in this area."

And what I came away with? Practical parenting advice! (Remember, I told you yesterday that the theme for me seemed to be parenting.)

The speaker was excellent! (I wish I had caught her name.) In regards to critical thinking, she encouraged us to: ask open-ended questions; to give the kids jobs to help them learn to plan and to serve (to the best of their ability, not to the best of mom's ability); to stress teamwork; and to be an encourager. I can say that stressing teamwork has been something I have done a lot of but not consistently, and boy, do I need to remember that they are kids and can't do things on my level! (Do you need that reminder, too?)

When they make mistakes, turn it around and ask what could have gone right, what they could have done differently in order to avoid making that mistake. This is a life skill, not just something to apply to Math, English, Geography, etc. And it is a parenting issue. How often have I gotten upset with one of the kids for spilling milk for the millionth time, and always when we are running late? Granted, the Lord had already started working on my heart with this one, but this was the reminder that I needed to hear.

She did bring things back to the classroom, and even used Bloom's Taxonomy, which I had learned about in college but had forgotten about, to help us see how critical thinking develops. And she even listed a few resources for us to look at sometime--more summer reading for mom! But at the end, she brought it all back to this one point:

You can't teach your children everything they need to know, but you can teach them how to think.

As homechooling parents, it is easy to feel like it is our responsibility to teach them absolutely everything. But it isn't. If we teach them how to think, as opposed to what to think, then they will have the skills they need to be life-long learners.

Proverbs 3:5-6 says:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;

in all your ways submit to Him, and he will direct your paths.

Above all else, teach them how to trust in the Lord and how to completely rely on Him. He will show them the plans that He has for them.

(*Disclaimer: I have not been asked by GeoMatters to write a post on their HEAV Convention workshop, nor have I been compensated by them in any way. These are just a sampling of the notes that I took during the workshop combined with my own thoughts on what I learned.)

Convention Time!

I realize that it's not best to skip several days in a row right after you launch your blog site, but I have a great reason for not writing. I went to the HEAV Convention!

For those who may not know, HEAV is THE homeschool site for the state of Virginia. If I have a homeschooling question, that is usually the first place I turn. They also have a great Facebook page; look them up!

This past Thursday-Saturday was the annual HEAV Convention in Richmond. I attended for the first time last year and drove there and back home both Friday and Saturday. This year, a friend and I shared a hotel room within walking distance of the Convention. Neither of us brought children with us, even though that is certainly an option as there are activities for the kids to participate in each day. If you are a Virginia homeschooler and have never attended the HEAV Convention, please consider attending next year. It is so worth it!

Most of the workshops I attended this year dealt with parenting issues even more than homeschooling issues. Honestly, this was exactly what I needed in this season of life. I have been a single mom for a year and have relaxed in some areas but have become a bit more uptight stressed in others. 

My first stop was the FlyLady's workshop on Thursday. I have heard about her and her methods, and I was looking forward to learning more about her methods (which I did...in fact, we had a "home blessing" just yesterday!), but more than that I walked away with practical parenting advice. What the FlyLady stressed (to me, anyway) was allowing the kids to help. As homeschooling parents, part of teaching our children at home includes teaching them to maintain a home. As a single parent, it is vitally important to include children in the maintenance of the home. I learned from the FlyLady that I need to examine myself and let go of perfectionist tendencies even more than I already have; otherwise, the kids won't want to help because they don't do it mom's way. I will admit that I have relaxed on how the towels are folded; as long as they are folded and put away in a pretty decent way, it's good. But I can see that I have areas where I need to relax and let go and will truly work on those things.

Friday, two of the sessions I attended dealt with grace, gentleness, and delighting in our children. I received so much encouragement and refreshment for my mommy-heart in those two hours that it truly felt as though I had been on a vacation at the beach. I will share more about those workshops this week.

Saturday, I attended a workshop about being organized in your homeschool. Organization isn't one of my strong suits; in fact, if you follow me on Pinterest you'll see that I have a huge organization category. Believe it or not, I have actually implemented a couple of the ideas! But one of the main things that I walked away from that workshop with was having margin--or white space--on your calendar. The speaker defined that as the distance between where you are and your personal limit (emotional, physical, financial, time, etc.). She gave us the freedom to say no! How much pressure is there on us as homeschoolers to have our children involved in this activity and that activity and to run to this function and that function, and to join this co-op and use that curriculum, and... whew! Learning to say no and learning to leave white space on the calendar will allow me to let go and to really enjoy this season of homeschooling my children instead of waking up looking forward to bedtime because we are going to be so busy that day.

The highlight of the day on Saturday was, by far, the Single Parents' Luncheon. HEAV is so generous and really cares about their homeschooling community across the state, and that includes the single parent homeschoolers. That luncheon was a time to relax and to enjoy a meal with other single homeschoolers, to realize that we aren't alone in our efforts, and to share what has worked and what hasn't and to offer support to each other. This was my second year to attend the luncheon, and it was nice to see a couple of familiar faces and to meet some new people, too. 

I plan to share more about the convention this week, so keep an eye on this space! I'll share some of my notes and some of what really encouraged me from the different workshops I attended. I hope that it blesses you, too!

Summer... yum!

Summer is my favorite season! I love all things about summer. The relaxed pace. The time to just be outside with my kids. Even the heat. (Yes, the heat.)

But one of my very favorite things about summer is growing a garden. When I was a kid, my grandparents had a huge garden and they grew just about everything imaginable in it. I did a lot of "helping" in their garden, too; one time I took it upon myself to go weed the potatoes and instead starting throwing the potatoes out of the garden! Oops! I just helped my grandpa put them back once he saw what I was doing.

Our veggie garden

Now, we barely have a yard at our house, much less any space to have an in-ground garden. BUT, I discovered a few years ago that I can grow just about anything in pots if they are large enough and have sufficient drainage.

This year, my oldest son and youngest daughter helped plant the garden. We planted tomatoes, lettuce, a few types of peppers, carrots, cucumbers, squash and zucchini (in an effort to get the kids to eat them), and strawberries. So far, the plants are growing really well and the kids ask daily when they will be able to eat anything from the garden.

How about you? Do you grow a garden where you live? What kinds of things do you grow?

Trust

Trust.

A simple word, yet difficult to put into practice. But when we are talking about trusting God, it should be the easiest thing in the world. Yet, what do we do? We project our humanness--our flaws and inabilities--on our perfect Heavenly Father. We project our issues and experiences with others onto Him, forgetting that He is perfect, He is loving, He is the healer and the restorer.

And this is where trust comes into play. We have to trust Him to heal and restore, guide and protect. We have to trust Him to lead and to provide.

So, what do we do?

But I am like an olive tree, thriving in the house of God. I will always trust God's unfailing love. (Psalm 52:8)

How? How do we "always trust"?

Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding. (Proverbs 3:5, Amplified)

If you lean on something, you rely on it to support your weight. You trust that it can bear the load, that it is immovable. Verse 6 goes on to say:

In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths. (Proverbs 3:6, Amplified)

We have to recognize God's presence around us, even in difficult times. See Him and His love today. He is always present, and He does direct our paths! We have to acknowledge Him.

Reality

I am a single mom.

I don't wear this title as a badge of honor, nor do I use it as a crutch for limping through the day-to-day craziness of life. It is merely a fact.

But, this fact doesn't define who I am, nor does it define Whose I am. First and foremost, I am a daughter of the Most High God, a child of the King, and He has a good plan for my life and for the lives of my children. I am honored to be called Mama by four amazing children, whose ages presently range from 2-10 years. I am a homechooling mom. I truly believe that we have been called to be a homeschooling family, and we will continue to homeschool until such a point as the Lord says to do something different. I am a tutor with my homeschool co-op. This school year was my first year to tutor with our co-op, and it was such a blessing to do so. The kids were great, and we had a blast learning together! (I had the youngest children enrolled in our co-op, a group of 4- and 5-year-old children.)

Our day-to-day may be similar to yours, or it may be completely different. But through this blog, my desire is to share with you the reality of life as a single homeschooling parent who has come to truly realize that she is Not Alone. I have grown in my dependence upon the Lord and have learned so much. There is still healing to take place in my heart and in the hearts of my children, and I know that the Lord will do it.

I hope that you will join me here at Not Alone Homeschoolers. Some days will be lighthearted, some days will be a little more, but I hope that you will find encouragement here.